Our Blog
Falling in Love with Your Community Again
In the last edition of Maturity Matters, we discussed the need to feel connected, engaged, and valued throughout every life stage, especially as we transition into later years. Whether you want to be challenged, entertained, inspired, or in-service of others, most communities have a menu of options to entice and invite. We have included a sampling of some of the ways we can participate and share throughout our lifetime. Social Engagement Local Senior Centers: For those who want to get-together, connect and have a good time. These centers offer a variety of social programs including luncheons, informal get-togethers, games and classes, as well as a variety of activities and group outings to local events and attractions. Community Service Clubs: Rotary, Kiwanis, Lions, etc. are not typically age-specific, and provide an excellent opportunity to meet and affiliate with other service-minded people who are looking for fellowship while helping their community. Organized Sports Be active! From tennis to hockey, softball to pickleball, there are local clubs and organizations looking for new... Read More»
Communities by Design – Not Default – Part 1
There is much talk about “aging in place of choice.” The keyword is choice. In the Report on the State of Public Health in Canada, our Chief Public Health Officer offered this definition: “Aging in place of choice is the ability of individuals to choose to live in their own communities for as long as possible, and to have access to home and community services that will support this ability.” Why do you live where you live? Perhaps your choice is based on: • lifestyle, • access to amenities, commercial and professional services, • walkability, • closeness to family and friends, • proximity to schools, hospitals, and your place of worship. Some people thrive on the energy of downtown, activity and people, while others need their back door to open into the peace and tranquility of the great outdoors. Regardless of the reasons, we know that how we live is directly related to where we live. It’s the ‘how’ that impacts and informs our quality of life. This... Read More»
The Gift of Recognition
When we think of giving, we turn our thoughts to money, gifts, and perhaps the act of service. Donating to worthwhile causes and offering the gift of our time and talents are important contributions. Giving is associated with the notion of philanthropy. When we look to the derivation of the word, we find that philanthropy refers to the love of humanity, the love of what it means to be human for both the benefactor and the beneficiary. Whole philosophies have been written about what it means to be human. Perhaps a fundamental element of our humanness involves our ability to recognize our humanity within ourselves and others. I had a poignant experience when a friend called and said, “I just wanted to tell you that I see who you are.” The gift of recognition – I was moved beyond words. I wonder if she realized her willingness to look to the unique expression of another person’s humanity was an ultimate act of giving—of philanthropy. Imagine bringing that gift of... Read More»
I Need a Vacation – Gotta Get Away
What We Expect Vacations – we sure look forward to them. Whether it is an action-packed adventure, lounging on the beach with a good book, a spiritual retreat, educational discovery, or anything in-between when we go on vacation, we expect to come back…different. Restored, rejuvenated, revitalized, re-focused, or even reinvented, we often have expectations about what the vacation can do. A heavy row to hoe for those vacation fairies! Why We Expect So Much It seems like the speed of life is accelerating. I remember in the 1990s when faxes were introduced to the workplace as a regular means of sharing and communication. My executive secretary was concerned. She felt that the expectation for an immediate and quick response fed reactionary and less thoughtful responses. I often wonder what she would think of the evolution of mail to fax to email to text to Instagram! (Even the name implies immediacy!) Regardless of our life circumstances, many long to escape the stress of daily living… and for good reason. We... Read More»
Chill Out
Summertime and the living aren’t always easy! We welcome that transition from the sometimes all too long cold, snowy, or rainy months. The first sign of those warm sunny days invites us to get out, bask in the sunshine, and restore that healthy vitamin D! But when is it too much of a good thing, and what can we do when we overindulge? We have all heard the tips and recommendations to take it slow, wear a hat, cover up with loose clothing that can breathe, avoid the sun during the hottest times of the day, interrupt sun exposure with time in the shade, and apply a good sunscreen. Nothing new here. So, what are the warning signs that we need to be aware of and what can we do when someone is in distress? Seniors and The Sun It takes energy for our bodies to regulate our temperature, and this extra demand can cause serious, significant, and even deadly stress for seniors. As we age, our ability to... Read More»
Tough Decisions – What Do You Value Most
Last month’s Maturity Matters Newsletter discussed how tough decisions can often involve the need to reconcile seemingly competing values. We considered the dilemma of wanting to keep a loved one safe and protected versus the deference to the individual’s entitlement to self-determination. In our scenario, the ‘right-to know’ bumped up against the timing and ‘need-to-know.’ In the absence of understanding the defined preferences of the care recipient, the loving family was left to weigh the equally compelling pros and cons of the choices. Ideally, conversations take place ahead of time to explore what the loved one would want, who would make these decisions at a time of crisis or uncertainty, and how these decisions are influenced and informed. This edition will review another real-life situation with a different dilemma – lifestyle today versus certainty for tomorrow. Jeanne is in her early 70s. She has enjoyed a rewarding career of significant renown and is now retiring after suffering two minor strokes. She has undergone a couple of challenging surgeries and... Read More»
Competing Values – Part 1
What makes tough decisions so darn tough? Usually it is because you are faced with a choice or dilemma that involves equally compelling and seemingly competing principles and values. This is especially the case when confronting questions and issues around caregiving, where choices can often appear to be in opposition. Here is a recent experience to illustrate the point. Mary and Ann are sisters, both in their 90s and living thousands of miles apart. Mary’s Alzheimer’s was advanced, while Ann was just starting to present the first stages of Alzheimer’s disease. Both Mary and Ann have loving adult daughters, committed to providing care and support. Mary caught the flu, and given her fragile state, was not recovering at all. After a couple of months of more aggressive interventions, the medical team moved Mary to palliative care to be more comfortable as they anticipated her passing in the coming weeks. Mary and Ann’s daughters both decided to not tell Ann about Mary’s failing condition. Although I respected their decision to... Read More»
Tax Time Scams
(This newsletter is reprinted by popular demand. Please read and share because these scams are still active, especially this time of year.) The phone rings. You pick it up and the caller identifies himself as being from the government, contacting you on a problem with your taxes. Your heart races. You begin to wonder what could possibly be wrong? You picture investigations, fines, and trouble! All those thoughts begin to spin in your head while you try to listen to what he is saying. When you start to ask questions, the caller becomes aggressive and threatens serious consequences—police, criminal charges, and jail—if you don’t provide specific information and make a payment right away. That is called a telephone phishing scam. Those scams are all too common during tax preparation season. The more sophisticated telephone scammers might even have a telephone call display ID that looks official, so please be very careful. Or you might have been contacted through a very official-looking email message that demands personal information or even... Read More»
Minister for Loneliness
We are social beings. We need to feel connected, to love and to be loved. But what happens when we don’t feel connected, valued or understood? We feel lonely. It is probably one of the most universal experiences and can range from episodic feelings of discomfort to more profound feelings of depression, helplessness, and a fundamental lack of value. Some identify loneliness, especially for older persons, as one of the most significant public health issues of our time. In early 2018, the U.K. government announced the appointment of a ‘Minister for Loneliness’ in memory of British lawmaker Jo Cox. Just prior to her untimely death (she was murdered by a right-wing extremist in 2016), Jo Cox set up the cross-party commission to bring attention to the impact of loneliness, and to “turbo-charge” action and response to this disturbing problem in our communities. Whether this government announcement is perceived as a progressive, provocative, or political move, the gravity of the issue is undeniable. In Britain, 14% of the general population... Read More»
Extending Your Personal Shelf Life
Extending THIS 6 Week Shelf Life Just Might Extend Your Personal Shelf Life! In the market for a deal on second-hand work-out equipment? Or perhaps a discount on a gym membership? Now might just be the best time! It is commonly accepted that 60% of gym memberships are left unused; and following an initial flurry of ‘New Year Newcomers’, the regular gym attendance reverts back to normal by the middle of February. Looks like exercise intentions have a shelf life of about 6 weeks. We all know that exercise is good for us — but I wonder if we truly appreciate the depth and extent of the benefits. It has been said that if the benefits of exercise were distilled into a pill or portion, we would have access to the real ‘fountain of youth.’ Exercise and Cognitive Aging A variety of studies confirm that a regular exercise routine can reduce age-related cognitive decline, and may postpone or even prevent the onset of dementia. Now that’s an incentive! We... Read More»
Who Will You Bring Into Your Next Life Phase?
There’s a wonderful parable about a couple looking to move to another community. They are walking down a country road and come upon a wise sage sitting at the gates of a village. The couple tells the sage they are looking to move and wonder if this might be a friendly village. The sage asks them about their previous village; they confide that it wasn’t a very friendly place to live. He tells them they will likely find this village isn’t very friendly either. A different couple arrives at the gates of the same village; they ask the wise sage the same question. The sage questions them about their experience in their previous village. This couple exclaims joyfully that their village was loving and friendly. The sage suggests they will likely find this village just as loving and friendly. As Confucius said, No matter where you go, there you are. It’s the same with any life transition. We bring who we are to every life phase. The who... Read More»
I See Who You Are
When we think of giving, we turn our thoughts to money, presents and perhaps even the gift of service. Donating to worthwhile causes and offering the gift of our time and talents are important contributions. How often do we consider the power of the gift of recognition – of seeing and acknowledging the unique essence and value of another person? Giving is associated with the notion of philanthropy. When we look to the derivation of the word, we find that philanthropy refers to the love of humanity, the love of what it means to be human for both the benefactor and the beneficiary. What it means to be human goes beyond the surface of what we look like, what we know, and what we possess. Expressions of our humanity are who we are. I had a poignant experience when a friend called to tell me that she wanted me to know that she ‘could see who I am.’ In that instant, her gentle and firm declaration stopped all my... Read More»
Personal Safety—Top Ten Tips
The headlines were alarming: ’95-year-old purse snatching victim suffers minor injuries to her arm.’ This recently happened just up the street from our home. The community was stunned — how could this happen here? A valued neighbour, as well as our sense of safety and civility, had been violated. The fear of crime is a big concern for seniors. While seniors are in the age group least likely to experience crime, when they are victimized, the results can be even more devastating. Seniors have less time to recover from financial loss and may take more time to heal from physical assaults. Furthermore, the fear of crime can be isolating, leading to less community engagement and a diminished sense of the quality of life. In previous articles, we provided travel safety and fraud prevention tips. Today, we’ll offer some ideas about how you can enhance your personal safety — regardless of your age. Top 10 Personal Safety Tips Be aware of your surroundings — notice who is entering the area... Read More»
Intergenerational Learning : What Is Old Is New Again
Imagine young and old coming together to experience, learn, and share. Innovative new programming, or a dusting off of the way it used to be? With our aging population, we see emerging examples of intergenerational programs being offered on many continents. Although it would be overstating it to suggest this has ‘taken-off,’ some of the experiences and results are both encouraging and positive. Some Examples: We turn first to Seattle where a long-term care facility shares space with a pre-school and child care center.1 Monday through Friday, babies and toddlers come to Providence Mount St. Vincent to mingle and connect with the residents where the average age is 92! Canada boasts a variety of examples where select secondary school students on a regular basis, attend local retirement or long-term care centres for a full school day that includes elements of their academic curriculum, social engagement with the residents, and service to the facility.2 The United Kingdom showcased an imaginative program initiated by a group of seniors. 3 This program... Read More»
New Year – Clean Start
I love the beginning of a new year and new cycle. These times hold such promise for fresh perspectives and different experiences. There is a catch, though. We often have to toss out some of the ‘old stuff’ to make room for new… or better yet, to simply just make room! This edition looks at a few tips to help us reduce and declutter. Clothes • Ask a Friend. Sometimes we need the trusted truth that only a dear friend can provide. I remember the brutal support from a friend telling me to ‘keep the memory’ and donate the dress – many times over as I went through a significant collection of out-of-date outfits bought for previous special events! • There is also the tried and true recommendation that if you haven’t worn it within the last year – it is time to share! If one year is a little too short a time frame for you to give them up, box these clothes and store them for an... Read More»
Safety Savvy Travelers
Schools Out and Summer is In. This is when our attention turns to vacations, getaways, and adventures. Whether your plans are local, international or perhaps even exotic, becoming more safety savvy can help to create treasured travel memories rather than regrettable recollections. The more informed and aware you are, the less likely you can fall victim to problems. A Few Tips For A Safer Vacation: Home Arrange for a trusted neighbor or friend to check your house regularly, park in front of your home occasionally, and collect your mail and papers each day. Make sure they have your emergency contact information. Set up timers to turn your lights on and off to reflect your regular routine at home. Some window blinds can be connected to a timer as well. Unplug electronic devices and small appliances. Currency and Cards Make sure you have enough local currency with you to cover local transportation and small purchases. Only use trusted financial outlets to exchange your money: o Currency Exchange –local ATMs can... Read More»
Bet There’s an App for That!
Do you line up the night before to buy the latest shiny new device being launched the next day? Perhaps you are a self-proclaimed “luddite” who opposes technological change. More likely, you shun the two extremes and embrace technology that actually works, serves you, and makes your life easier, safer, and more convenient. New technologies are being introduced continually to help us maintain our independence and age more safely in place. Monitors alert us to take specific medications at prescribed times of day and ensure the medications are accessible only then. Do you fear a loved one will miss taking meds? No problem. A pre-recorded reminder message can arrive to the loved one through the TV set and a text message can alert you or another caregiver that the meds were not taken. Motion detectors can identify when routine activities of daily living fail to be carried out. Perhaps the fridge door was not opened throughout the day or the toilet was not flushed. Once again, caregivers can be... Read More»
Tax Time Scams
The phone rings. You pick it up and the caller identifies himself as being from the government, contacting you on a problem with your taxes. Your heart races. You begin to wonder what could possibly be wrong? You picture investigations, fines, and trouble! All those thoughts begin to spin in your head while you try to listen to what he is saying. When you start to ask questions, the caller becomes aggressive and threatens serious consequences—police, criminal charges, and jail—if you don’t provide specific information and make a payment right away. That is called a telephone phishing scam. Those scams are all too common during tax preparation season. The more sophisticated telephone scammers might even have a telephone call display ID that looks official, so please be very careful. Or you might have been contacted through a very official-looking email message that demands personal information or even payment. That is an email phishing scam. Bogus requests can also be sent through the regular mail. Scammers use the pretext of... Read More»
Our Seniors and Volunteering
Nicole Nilsson July 26, 1944 – October 23, 2016 She lived a life of service—to her family, friends, and community. Over 300 members of her small town attended the Celebration of Life to recognize the love and contribution of an amazing woman and dear friend Nicole Nilsson. We were all struck by the sheer range of her service and were in awe of the impact she made during her all-too-short 72 years on this earth! No wallet or chequebook was safe when Nicole came calling to fundraise for one of the many local causes she embraced. As do other inspirational seniors, Nicole dedicated much of her time to making her community a better place to live. I am sure you can think of others who fit that profile and it may describe you, as well. Seniors create a vital and sustaining footprint on the landscape of service. It has been suggested that our tax base would collapse under the absolute weight of societal demands if not for the involvement... Read More»
Later Life Love
Red hearts, cupids, flowers, and chocolates. All the trappings for St. Valentine’s Day celebrations, encouraging us to re-affirm our love for that special someone in our life. Lots of hype, presenting images and promotions typically targeting younger adults, while failing to recognize the need and legitimacy of later-life love. How did we ever get to the belief that love is only for the young? Our need for relationship and companionship stays with us throughout our lifetime. Some even suggest that this need for affiliation actually increases with age, and when this connection is present and positive, contributes toward not only to our quality of life but to our longevity as well. Speaking of longevity, with the average life expectancy now creeping into our 80s, and the average age of widowhood 56 — there is the potential for many to be living 20-30 years on their own. The reality is that finding love again in later life can have its challenges. · Uneven playing field for heterosexual women. According to... Read More»
Are You a Thought Hoarder?
It has been suggested that we experience between 50,000 – 60,000 thoughts a day — and that 95% of these thoughts are the very same recurring thoughts we have entertained before. Now that’s a lot of re-runs! I am not sure where these statistics come from, but they do sound plausible, and perhaps even familiar. If even a portion of the 95% of repeating thoughts is an accurate representation, it gives us some insight into why the proverbial New Year’s Resolutions often don’t make it into February. The most well-intentioned fresh resolutions are destined for failure! Einstein once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. I suspect this is probably just as true with our thoughts. Same thoughts — same results! That being the case, it would behoove us to take some time to not only identify the new behaviour we want to instill but to also list the thoughts that would support that new behaviour. While we are at... Read More»
Covid-19 and the Cost of Social Isolation
Betty is 97. Lives in an Assisted Living Facility. Must receive and take all her meals alone in her room. Has not participated in any group social activities for approaching 3 months now. Has had no physical contact with family, friends, or co-residents for almost 3 months. Every day is the same in the small room and times and dates have lost any distinction. TV no longer serves as a distraction. Betty admits to profound loneliness. She is protected from the Covid-19 virus. But is she safe? No one will deny the need to do all we can to keep our communities safe and healthy during the Covid-19 pandemic. This is especially true for our most vulnerable citizens. And yet, it would be equally wrong to deny the short-term and long-term impact of the loss of association, community, physical contact and touch. We know that social engagement and connection form a critical part of our life experience. This is especially true as move through later-life transitions. Our time with... Read More»
Coronavirus Scams
Coronavirus Scams Difficult and stressful times bring out demonstrations of great compassion and altruism. Unfortunately, these times also present a rich opportunity for scammers and fraudsters to take advantage of uncertain situations and vulnerable persons. The presence of the current coronavirus compels us to take the necessary precautions to protect our health. At the same time, it is equally important to safeguard our financial and overall wellbeing. Our friends, family, and community members are facing new circumstances, and with social distancing, many may not have access to traditional support systems to provide guidance, caution, and protection. Below are some alerts and tips to help minimize the risk these exploitative opportunists present. Protect Your Personal Information ALERT: Previous scams are being re-purposed to solicit funds from the unsuspecting public. Government services, local police, research institutes, and health care services will not call you making threats, while demanding action, payments, or contributions. Legitimate government offices will not send you an email or text asking you to click on a link or... Read More»
Times of Crisis: The Opportunity to Dream Newer Visions
Times of crisis bring out the best in us and the worst in us. In the last edition of Maturity Matters, we discussed how to protect ourselves from a number of new Covid-19 Scams introduced to exploit and take advantage of our friends and families. This edition looks at the other end of the spectrum – the opportunity to demonstrate the vision of our better angels. Shortly after preparing the article on the scams, I was invited to participate in an email chain that shared uplifting messages with other women. Historically, I have chosen to not respond to these types of chain requests. Something caused me to pause this time. If I would spend many hours researching how to protect folks from the worst of us, why would I not invest the same attention and energy to celebrate, inspire, and share the best in us? I made a leap of faith and decided to participate. While I forwarded to others on the list an impassioned video message on gratitude,... Read More»
Getting To The Essence of Customer Loyalty
Do they Love You — or Are You Just Convenient? I think about customer loyalty every day. What are we doing right that keeps our members happy and loyal and what are we missing that causes others to leave? When we do crack the ‘magic formula’ how can we then share the golden secrets with the businesses we serve? The following is a personal story of my own conflict with loyalty and guilt. I like to think of myself as a supportive and loyal person; and yet sometimes, convenience and price will win out over loyalty…(hence the guilt.) I wanted to explore when and why that happens, and to see how I can use that information in my own business, as well as the businesses we serve. My husband and I recently moved to another community, and have started to forge relationships with local businesses. An entrepreneur myself, I like to support small businesses when I can. Looking for a new place to buy our supplements, we popped into... Read More»
Travel Tips
Welcome to our Age-Friendly Business® Tip Series! This TRAVEL edition provides a small lesson on preparing for a quality and safe travel experience. We save and plan and prepare. It may be a once in a lifetime dream adventure, a bucket list wish come true, or a regular holiday with the kids. It just makes sense to learn what we can to ensure that our time away is all we want and hope it to be. We’ll start with Travel Safety, and then you can access a link to a short lesson including more information from passports and visas to health advisories, vaccinations and insurance, to budgets and baggage! We have even created a fun ‘infographic’ to provide an engaging ‘Summary at a Glance!’ Make sure you check that out! Whether your plans are local, international or perhaps even exotic, becoming more safety savvy can help to create treasured travel memories rather than regrettable recollections. The more informed and aware you are, the less likely you can fall victim... Read More»
Multi-Generational Households
My house is your house… It is not unusual, particularly following a death in the family, for multi-generations to consider living together. This blog addresses some of the opportunities as well as some of the difficulties, and offers tips for families considering the blending of multi-generations within one household. Multi-generational households are not unusual in North America. According to the US Census Bureau and Stats Canada, the number of children living with their grandparents has increased substantially in the past decade. In the USA, 20% of these households have no parent present, and in Canada, where a single parent is living in the home with the grandparent, 65% of these grandparents are financially responsible for the household. Let’s start with the advantages Multi-generational homes offer a significant opportunity to deepen family bonds, enhance a sense of unity and establish a connection with history. Grandparents can play a central role in their grandchildren’s lives, transferring their wisdom and life experience. This is especially beneficial for passing along cultural heritage and... Read More»
From Information To Transformation
A difference isn’t a difference until it makes a difference. We have all heard that knowledge is power. That’s just not true. If knowledge were power, everyone with an Internet connection and a library card would be shaking it up. That’s just not so. Knowledge in and of itself is all very well and good, but until knowledge is used in some way to cause a result or to impact change, knowledge is actually pretty power-less. The alchemy, the true power comes when knowledge is applied in a way that leads to transformation. The dictionary defines transformation as a ‘marked change in appearance or character, especially for the better.’ Think of some of the great change agents in the last century – Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa. They didn’t possess any secret or exclusive knowledge about human rights, personal dignity or freedom. Yet, they each took what they knew to be true, combined this awareness with passion and action, and changed the course of history. They moved from... Read More»
Aging in Place of Choice – Part 2
Given a choice….. In the previous blog, we talked about the importance of being able to ‘Age in our Place of Choice,’ and how this serves us individually, contributes to our communities, and is more cost effective than residential care. Think of all the choices we make in the course of our day. From the mundane to the significant, we may struggle with the array of options before us. Faced with unending decisions, we likely don’t reflect on the fact that we actually have the privilege of choice in the first place. Until we don’t. We may now agree on why this is important–but what about the obstacles and challenges getting in the way of how to make this happen? Let’s consider some of the challenges and the opportunities. Challenges – Under Care Not surprisingly, an increasing number of seniors trying to live on their own (up from 5% to 8%) report having unmet needs that threaten their ability to remain independent. As our population ages, and without a... Read More»
Where Do I Want to Live When I Grow Up? – Part 1
Why do you live where you live? Have you given this much thought? Perhaps your choice was based on: • Lifestyle • Access to amenities • Proximity to family and friends • Near schools, hospitals and your faith community. Some thrive on the energy of downtown, while others need their backdoor to open into the great outdoors. Regardless of the reasons why, we know that where we live is directly related to how we live. This principle remains true as we transition through various life stages. There is much talk about ‘Aging In Place Of Choice.’ The key word here is ‘Choice.’ A North American Public Health official offered this definition: ‘Aging in place of choice is the ability of individuals to choose to live in their own communities for as long as possible, and to have access to home and community services that will support this ability.’ To be able to live in our own communities of choice for as long as possible serves us as individuals. It... Read More»
Ageless Tips for Effective Communicating
Talking Dirty… You have probably witnessed this, or perhaps even caught yourself doing this. Take intelligent and rational adults, and put them in front of young children and/or the elderly, and watch these once articulate adults reduce themselves to speaking like a Saturday morning cartoon character in a singsong falsetto voice. Check in with some of your senior friends and family members, and ask them how often (albeit well meaning) service people talk ‘baby talk’ to them and you may be shocked – I know I was! I find this irritating enough when people do this to young children, I can’t imagine how offensive this is to older adults. What may have started out as an expression of endearment, can soon devolve into an unintentional demonstration of ageism. I can hear the objections now, suggesting that we are taking ‘political correctness’ and ourselves far too seriously. I get that, and many times I do think that we do take ourselves too seriously. When unsure, however, my personal litmus test... Read More»